Sustainability is often thought of as an environmental issue, but it also has significant social and economic benefits. These benefits can include job creation, improved quality of life, and economic growth.
One of the key social benefits of sustainability is job creation. As companies adopt sustainable practices and invest in renewable energy and other environmentally-friendly technologies, they create new jobs in a variety of fields, including engineering, manufacturing, and construction. These jobs can help boost local economies and provide opportunities for workers to develop new skills. Not only that, but many companies are also adopting green initiatives and creating committees to oversee them. Many of these positions are volunteer programs, but they do give employees the ability to make a difference not only in their company, but also in their communities. Also, this gives employees plenty of "green" work history so one day they can move into the sustainable sector if they choose to. One such program is which has been adopted by PCI Pharma Services, a global pharmaceutical manufacturing and distribution company, is called "ESG", which stands for "Environmental Social Governance" which is a worldwide program. This program gives anyone at the entirety of PCI, which has facilities in the United States, Canada, the UK, Ireland, Spain, Germany, and Australia, the ability to volunteer to create and participate in green programs such as food drives, school supply drives, community cleanup, water conservation, reducing the company's carbon footprint, and educating all of the employees about sustainability practices. This gives each employee the ability to not only make an environmental difference at the company, but also builds relationships which can creates jobs through in-house promotions and hiring, and off-campus job opportunities through working with other companies with the same initiatives. You can learn more about this program here: Environmental Social Governance (ESG) - PCI Services
Here is a video about sustainability job creation for young people as way to combat poverty:
Sustainability can also improve quality of life by addressing social and environmental problems that impact communities. For example, reducing air pollution can improve public health and increase life expectancy, while increasing access to clean water and sanitation can improve health outcomes and reduce the burden of disease. Sustainability initiatives can also improve access to affordable housing, transportation, and other essential services, which can contribute to a more equitable and inclusive society. Also, many communities provide shared garden space, which not only give residents more food to eat, but also gives its residents a sense of community they may not get otherwise. Take this place for example. They transformed an entire apartment complex into a sustainable living complex, complete with a food forest which used to be a parking lot .
In addition to social benefits, sustainability can also have positive economic impacts. For example, investing in renewable energy and energy efficiency can reduce energy costs and increase competitiveness for businesses. Sustainability initiatives can also reduce waste and resource consumption, which can lower production costs and increase profitability. Furthermore, sustainability can attract tourists and investors, which can boost local economies and create new opportunities for economic growth. Many farms are now adopting more sustainable ways to farm, which can not only eventually lower the cost of growing food as a whole, but also buying it at the consumer level. Here is a great video on that.
Overall, the social and economic benefits of sustainability demonstrate that it is not just an environmental issue, but a holistic approach to addressing the challenges facing our world. By investing in sustainability, we can create jobs, improve quality of life, and drive economic growth, while also addressing important environmental issues. So, it's a win-win-win-win for everyone on earth. If you're looking for a way to save the world, this is a good way to start.
If you want to see what your family's carbon footprint is and what you can do to offset it, then check out this website:
They always say that home is the most important place a child learns about life, and then comes school. But I don't think that rings true in every arena. I think there are plenty of things that schools can teach children (and adults) that we may have no idea about at home, outside of the traditional educational subjects. And one of those things is learning about sustainability.
As the world faces increasing environmental and social challenges, it is more important than ever to educate the next generation about sustainability. Sustainability education helps students understand the interconnectedness of social, economic, and environmental systems and the impacts of their actions on the planet. It can also help them develop the skills and knowledge needed to be responsible global citizens and leaders in creating a more sustainable future.
There are many ways that educators can incorporate sustainability into their classrooms. One effective approach is to use interactive learning techniques, such as hands-on activities and field trips. This can help students better understand and retain information, as well as inspire them to take action. For example, students could participate in a waste audit, plant a school garden, or visit a renewable energy facility.
Sustainability themes can also be incorporated into existing subjects, such as science, social studies, and math. For example, a science lesson on water conservation could include a discussion of the water cycle and the impacts of overuse and pollution. A social studies lesson on food systems could include a discussion of the environmental and social impacts of industrial agriculture and the benefits of sustainable farming practices.
Real-world case studies can also be used to teach sustainability. For example, students could analyze the sustainability practices of a local business or community organization and develop recommendations for improvement. This helps students see the relevance of sustainability in their own lives and communities.
In addition to teaching sustainability in the classroom, schools and universities can also promote it through their operations. For example, they can reduce energy and water consumption, use green building materials, and promote sustainable transportation options. This not only helps the environment, but it can also save schools money and serve as a valuable learning opportunity for students.
Schools and universities can also partner with community organizations, businesses, and governments to promote sustainability in their local communities and beyond. For example, they can participate in sustainability initiatives, such as community clean-up days or energy conservation campaigns. This helps students see the tangible impact of their efforts and encourages community involvement.
Finally, schools and universities can provide opportunities for students to develop leadership skills and take on leadership roles in sustainability initiatives. For example, students could start a recycling program or organize a sustainability fair. This helps students feel empowered to make a difference and encourages them to take ownership of their actions.
Here is a list of ways that educators of all ages can incorporate sustainability in their classrooms:
The importance of sustainability education: Sustainability education helps students understand the interconnectedness of social, economic, and environmental systems and the impacts of their actions on the planet. It can also help them develop the skills and knowledge needed to be responsible global citizens and leaders in creating a more sustainable future.
Sustainability in the classroom: There are many ways that educators can incorporate sustainability into their classrooms, such as by using interactive and experiential learning techniques, incorporating sustainability themes into existing subjects, and using real-world case studies.
Sustainability outside the classroom: Schools and universities can also promote sustainability through their operations, such as by reducing energy and water consumption, using green building materials, and promoting sustainable transportation options.
Partnerships and initiatives: Schools and universities can partner with community organizations, businesses, and governments to promote sustainability in their local communities and beyond. For example, they can participate in sustainability initiatives, such as community clean-up days or energy conservation campaigns.
Leadership development: Schools and universities can also provide opportunities for students to develop leadership skills and take on leadership roles in sustainability initiatives, such as by starting a recycling program or organizing a sustainability fair.
Research and innovation: Higher education institutions can also support sustainability research and innovation, such as by establishing sustainability centers or institutes and encouraging interdisciplinary collaboration. This can help advance knowledge and develop new solutions to sustainability challenges.
Teaching sustainability in schools is essential for preparing the next generation to tackle the environmental and social challenges of the future. By using interactive and experiential learning techniques, incorporating sustainability themes into existing subjects, and providing leadership opportunities, educators can inspire and empower students to make a positive impact on the world as a part of their daily lives, rather than just some abstract idea of a word that we so desperately need right now.
When you are learning to be more mindful, there are always going to be things that stop you from your journey because we're human, and shit happens. In Buddhism, these are called "fetters" or "hindrances", but on the Mindful Path, we call them obstacles, impediments, hurdles, or closed doors. These are anything that can get in the way of your journey to towards peace. Remember, these things will always come up. Always. So when they do, do not berate yourself for "falling off the path" or failing in any way. Instead, see these as obstacles you have to maneuver over along your path in order to move forward. You may never eliminate them fully (we are human, after all), but you can learn easier and easier ways to overcome them the longer you walk the path.
All of these can be plotted on the path to suffering (which is the opposite of the Mindful Path), such as oblivious understanding, oblivious thinking, oblivious speech, oblivious actions, oblivious desire, oblivious consumption, oblivious love, oblivious boundaries, etc.
When you don't like something, you build an aversion to it. So instead, be open. Danielle LaPorte says that she will go onto Instagram and follow people who think the opposite of her on purpose, just so she can open her mind to see if she can find some truth in how these other people think (I am not sure if she really does this herself, but it's good advice nonetheless). I've spent a lot of time with people who think differently than I do, and I've begun to change my aversions to certain things because of it. Remember the motto: "Always Be Open" (unless you have to be closed for security reasons--as in to protect yourself) as opposed to the idea "always be closing", which is what salespeople use. We're not selling anything, but we're also not buying anything either, we're just observing. Be open to new ideas, different ways of thinking, even if they are harmful in some way to someone. Unless the idea is hurt someone directly, then get help. But if it's just an idea, rather than closing yourself off to it, listen. See if you learn something. You don't have to like it, but you can understand where the other person is coming from rather than shutting them down immediately.
Booklist:
"The Open Mind: Exploring the 6 Patterns of Natural Intelligence" by W.A. Mathieu
"The Art of Thinking Clearly" by Rolf Dobelli
"The World Beyond Your Head: On Becoming an Individual in an Age of Distraction" by Matthew B. Crawford
"Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking" by Malcolm Gladwell
"The Power of Thinking Differently" by Nick Hall
"The Thinking Person's Guide to Writing in the 21st Century" by Brooke Noel Moore and Richard Parker
"The Open-Mindedness Handbook: How to Clear Your Mind, Open Your Heart, and Reach Your Goals" by Bill Crawford
"The Power of Thinking for Yourself" by Maurice J. Elias
"The Art of Being Open-Minded" by Kelly Flanagan
"The Open Mind: Cold War Politics and the Sciences of Human Nature" by Jamie Cohen-Cole
These books offer a variety of perspectives on the importance and benefits of being open-minded, as well as strategies for developing and maintaining an open mind in various contexts.
Ignorance
Ignorance is not always bliss. Sometimes, it can hurt others or ourselves. When Christopher McCandless took the Alaskan bush by himself to prove something to himself and the world that he knew nothing about, his ignorance took his life from him (read about this in "Into the Wild" by Jon Krakauer). Brittney Murphy's ignorance to the type of person her husband was (who neglected her illness until it was too late) also took her life from her. Thousands of people every single day get duped by con-men and women, due their ignorance of being able to recognize the signs of a liar. The same can be said for those who get into abusive relationships with narcissists. Ignorance of how medicine works causes parents to not vaccinate their children, which exposes them (and everyone else) to deadly diseases. I, used to believe that GMOs were harmful and bad, and that eating food sprayed with pesticides were harmful to a consumer's health. But then I educated myself on actual science and learned better. The opposite of ignorance is knowledge, and usually it comes from enough life experience that we learn our lessons. The lessons can be small or huge, depending on what we go through. But we can also combat these experiences before they happen if we choose a life dedicated to learning. And to take what we think we know based on things we read online or hear from our family and friends and investigate the truth instead. We can stop spreading ignorance by educating ourselves before sharing these thoughts and ideas, too. The booklist below are books on random subjects but are a start to helping us all become a little more knowledgeable in life.
Booklist:
"The Demon-Haunted World: Science as a Candle in the Dark" by Carl Sagan
"How to Read a Book" by Mortimer Adler and Charles Van Doren
"The Art of Learning: A Journey in the Pursuit of Excellence" by Josh Waitzkin
"The Emotional Intelligence Quick Book" by Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves
"Enlightenment Now: The Case for Reason, Science, Humanism, and Progress " by Steven Pinker
"The Self-Taught Programmer: The Definitive Guide to Programming Professionally" by Cory Althoff
"The Knowledge: How to Rebuild Our World from Scratch" by Lewis Dartnell
"Thinking, Fast and Slow" by Daniel Kahneman
"The Best Book on the Market: A Complete Guide to the Stock Market" by Peter Lynch and John Rothchild
"The Feynman Lectures on Physics" by Richard Feynman
"The 48 Laws of Power" by Robert Greene
These books cover a wide range of topics and offer a variety of strategies for increasing knowledge and understanding in various areas. They explore topics such as critical thinking, learning and memory, emotional intelligence, and the process of scientific discovery, and offer practical advice for improving one's knowledge and understanding in these areas.
Restlessness
This is the state of a person who cannot settle in the present moment. Living in the past or the future, but never in the present moment, always wanting more and unable to see what's in front of them. We all go through this sometimes. Sitting and being fully present in the moment and letting go of what we think we should be doing is the only prescription for this state of "monkey mind". The opposite of restlessness is learning how to be calm.
Booklist:
"The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself" by Michael A. Singer
"Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life" by Jon Kabat-Zinn
"The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying" by Sogyal Rinpoche
"The Art of Peace" by Morihei Ueshiba
"The Tao of Pooh" by Benjamin Hoff
"The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment" by Eckhart Tolle
"Peace is Every Step: The Path of Mindfulness in Everyday Life" by Thich Nhat Hanh
"The Calm Center: Reflections and Meditations on the Great Perfection of Wisdom" by Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche
"The Peaceful Warrior: A Book That Changes Lives" by Dan Millman
"Be Still and Know: Reflections on Peace and Inner Calm" by Benjamin Bonetti
These books offer a variety of perspectives and strategies for finding inner peace and calm in the face of life's challenges. They cover topics such as mindfulness, meditation, and spiritual growth, and offer practical advice for incorporating these principles into daily life.
Doubt/Indecisiveness/Worry
Too much doubt will bring about too much wondering and thinking. When you think too much, you get stuck in your brain instead of doing. This obstacle can lead to anxiety or prevent you from taking action, so the quicker you realize you're having these thoughts (or even restlessness), do something to fix it ASAP.
Booklist:
"The Five Second Rule" by Mel Robbins
"The Worry Trick: How Your Brain Tricks You into Expecting the Worst and What You Can Do About It" by David A. Carbonell
"The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook" by Edmund J. Bourne
"The Mindfulness and Acceptance Workbook for Anxiety: A Guide to Breaking Free from Anxiety, Phobias, and Worry Using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy" by John P. Forsyth and Georg H. Eifert
"Don't Let Your Emotions Run Your Life: How Dialectical Behavior Therapy Can Put You in Control" by Scott E. Spradlin
"The Relaxation and Stress Reduction Workbook" by Martha Davis, Elizabeth Robbins Eshelman, and Matthew McKay
"The Cognitive Behavioral Workbook for Anxiety: A Step-by-Step Program" by William J. Knaus
"The Anxiety Toolkit: Strategies for Fine-Tuning Your Mind and Moving Past Your Stuck Points" by Alice Boyes
"The Confidence Gap: A Guide to Overcoming Fear and Self-Doubt" by Russ Harris
"The Upside of Stress: Why Stress Is Good for You, and How to Get Good at It" by Kelly McGonigal
"The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living" by Russ Harris
These books offer a variety of approaches and strategies for dealing with anxiety and worrying, including cognitive-behavioral therapy, mindfulness and acceptance, and dialectical behavior therapy.
Self-Doubt/Insecurity
We all forget how amazing we truly are. Usually this happens daily. In fact, it could be most of our lives if we don't start paying attention. Being insecure can stem from many things, but usually it's due to harsh criticism in childhood. But it can also come from being a highly sensitive person, as well. And there is nothing wrong with that. But you are pretty amazing. You just have to start paying attention to all the good stuff you do. I know that many people can do amazing things and they will always think that it's still not good enough. It's something that plagues so many people throughout their entire lives. But your job is become aware of your insecurities (make a list when they come up) and do the work to get better. Booklist:
This is numero uno when it comes to things that hold us back in life. Fear can be good in some situations, but in most, it's just something that closes the door for us. When fear holds us back in life, it could be due to low self-esteem, past abuse, or even PTSD/CPTSD. Also, they have found that when someone experiences trauma, it can encode in our DNA, which be passed down from generation to generation (which means, you may even not know why you fear something) (here is a video that talks about this). Fear is great when something bad is actually happening. It can keep us safe. But most of the time, it's just an obstacle to be overcome.
Booklist:
"The Confidence Gap: A Guide to Overcoming Fear and Self-Doubt" by Russ Harris
"Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway" by Susan Jeffers
"The Courage to Be Disliked: The Japanese Phenomenon That Shows You How to Change Your Life and Achieve Real Happiness" by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga
"Awaken the Giant Within: How to Take Immediate Control of Your Mental, Emotional, Physical and Financial Destiny!" by Tony Robbins
"The Five Second Rule" by Mel Robbins (not related to Tony, as far as I know LOL)
Guilt/Shame
If you do something bad, first understand what you did wrong, and how it hurt the other person. Then apologize (for real) and then make amends. You have to do both for it to actually mean something. But beyond that, you need to forgive yourself. But most guilt doesn't even come from doing something bad, it comes from having abusive parents who taught us that unless we're perfect, we're bad, and we should feel guilty for it. So, if you're feeling guilty, ask yourself: did you actually do something wrong, or is someone gaslighting you into you giving into what they want from you? If you did something wrong, do your best to make amends, and if someone refuses to forgive you, eventually you have to let it go. If you did something wrong that was on accident, you need to learn to forgive yourself, otherwise how can you ever be happy in life? We all make mistakes. Even HUGE ones sometimes. You aren't alone in feeling this way. But there comes a point when we need to move on from it and learn from it and do better in the future. And when we do, we can look back and say "Look, I've come a long way. I am doing better now." We all live with SO much guilt in our lives. Maybe make a list of all things that you feel guilty for (which is akin to shame), and then throw that list in the garbage and start anew.
Booklist:
"The Guilt and Shame Workbook: Exercises to Help You Face Your Feelings, Accept Yourself, and Improve Your Life" by Karen K. Leon
"The Self-Esteem Workbook" by Glenn R. Schiraldi
"The Mindfulness and Acceptance Workbook for Depression: Using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy to Move Through Depression and Create a Life Worth Living" by Kirk D. Strosahl and Patricia J. Robinson
"The Courage to Heal: A Guide for Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse" by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis
"The Self-Compassion Workbook: A Proven Way to Accept Yourself, Build Inner Strength, and Thrive" by Kristin Neff and Christopher Germer
"Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life with the Heart of a Buddha" by Tara Brach
"The Forgiveness Project: Stories for a Vengeful Age" by Marina Cantacuzino
"The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma" by Bessel van der Kolk
These books offer a variety of approaches and strategies for managing guilt, including cognitive-behavioral therapy, mindfulness and acceptance.
Anger
Anger can be a motivating influence for change. But if you keep your anger held in, eventually it will turn into rage, and that will be much harder to control. So for now, work through your anger while it's still just a flame and not a volcano. You can do that in a myriad of ways, but usually talking with someone who is a good listener is a great way to start. You can also express your anger in art, in writing, in music, or some other creative way. Or you can take up sports or exercise. You can also read the books I've listed below to get started on managing your anger, too.
Booklist:
"The Anger Management Workbook" by William Glasser and Raymond Chip Tafrate
"The Anger Control Workbook" by Matthew McKay, Peter D. Rogers, and Kim Paleg
"Don't Let Your Emotions Run Your Life: How Dialectical Behavior Therapy Can Put You in Control" by Scott E. Spradlin
"The Mindfulness and Acceptance Workbook for Anger: Using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy to Manage Anger and Other Strong Emotions" by Matthew McKay, John P. Forsyth, and Georg H. Eifert
"The Anger Workbook for Women: How to Keep Your Anger from Undermining Your Self-Esteem, Your Emotional Balance, and Your Relationships" by Lorraine Bilodeau
"Anger Management for Everyone: Seven Proven Ways to Control Anger and Live a Happier Life" by Raymond Chip Tafrate and Howard Kassinove
"Anger Management in a Nutshell: The Definitive Guide to Controlling Anger and Achieving Peace of Mind" by Tony Northrup
"The Relaxation and Stress Reduction Workbook" by Martha Davis, Elizabeth Robbins Eshelman, and Matthew McKay
"The Science of Positivity: Stop Negative Thought Patterns By Changing Your Brain Chemistry" by Loretta Graziano Breuning
These books offer a variety of approaches and strategies for managing anger, including cognitive-behavioral therapy, mindfulness and acceptance, and dialectical behavior therapy.
Self-Sabotage
We all do this in some way or another. We break something that's working perfectly well for us, or we stop something good before it can start. Why? Because we fear success. We fear being loved. We fear having to do something and not being ready. We fear doing something that may ask too much of us. We fear that if we don't stop it, we will fuck it up ourselves. But most all, we fear we aren't good enough. Most likely because we were told that from birth, whether by words or the actions of our caregivers. We feel safe in our little box because we know what to expect from that box. We may not like our boxes, but we fear leaving it due to what I just said. We sabotage ourselves because we fear that what they say is true. We fear we really aren't good enough, and if we keep moving forward, we may just prove it. Quitting is better than failure, right? And not starting at all is even better than that. We can fail if we choose not to participate.
But don't let self-sabotage make you feel guilt or shame. Sometimes we quit before we start because something just isn't right for us. And sometimes we sabotage something because we know something really isn't right for us. On the outside, we looked like we just messed everything up, but on the inside, sometimes we have a reason for what we choose, even if we don't quite know what that is. So the real issue isn't what we did, it's how we went about doing it. When you're learning to be mindful, you will come to realize that your actions can hurt yourself or others, due to oblivious thinking (or negative thinking). You can still choose to quit something in life without making it messy. You can choose better and know if that you truly do not want something in your life, you do not have to sabotage it to make it go away. You can choose the proper way to go about ending it (like, dumping a guy rather than sleeping with his BFF, etc.). Also, if you fear moving forward in your life because you're scared to mess it up, so you run in guns blazing and make a mess of things, you'll learn with mindfulness instead to really investigate what you're feeling and see if what it is is just fear, or if there is some truth to it. And then move forward accordingly.
Booklist:
"The Self-Sabotage Cycle: Why We Repeat Behaviors That Hold Us Back, and How to Change Them" by Judith Sills
"The Self-Sabotage Solution: The Five Keys to Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior" by Lisa Ferentz
"Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: How to Lose Your Mind and Create a New One" by Joe Dispenza
"The Inner Critic, Inner Wisdom Dialogues: How to Transform Your Critic and Make Friends with Your Inner Wisdom" by Hal Stone and Sidra Stone
"The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life" by Mark Manson
"The Confidence Gap: A Guide to Overcoming Fear and Self-Doubt" by Russ Harris
"The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment" by Eckhart Tolle
"The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom" by Don Miguel Ruiz
Envy/Jealousy
Being jealous someone else has what you don't will never give you want you want. Instead, let them have their cake and you just go find your own cake. It may taste different, but if you were meant to have that other cake, you would have it. So practice radical acceptance and know that one day, you may have some of that cake, or maybe you won't. And just maybe, you were meant for a more delicious cake somewhere else in life.
If you're jealous that your significant other is flirting with someone else, you need to have a talk with them about how you're feeling. If find yourself not being heard, then maybe you need to seek counseling. But obsessively checking up on them or always accusing them of cheating, it won't do you any good. It won't stop someone from cheating who is, and it won't prove someone is cheating who isn't. If you find yourself doing this, then you need to seek out your own therapist, and work out what the underlying issue that is causing this is.
Booklist:
"The Envy Cure: Learn to Stop Comparing and Start Living" by Jealousy, Resentment, Envy, and Other Negative Emotions Kathryn Tristan
"The Emotional Intelligence Workbook: 50 Techniques to Enhance Your EQ" by Steven J. Stein
"The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion: Freeing Yourself from Destructive Thoughts and Emotions" by Christopher K. Germer
Selfishness/Greed
I was born an only child and still am to this day. So, I know something about being selfish. But what I've learned is that the only way to get through life whole is to share it with other people. And if I am too busy being selfish, then how can I let the people around me feel like they are in this with me? I don't always like sharing, but I do it anyways, because I know it's the right thing to do. I don't share everything, though. Just the stuff I know I need to share.
Greed means to actively be so selfish that you hoard wonderful things for yourself, even though other people need them to. Being like this means one is not mindful in the least, and maybe needs a little Scrooge adventure. Though true greedy people would never be changed by ghosts of anything past, because most truly greedy people are narcissists, who are unchangable.
Booklist:
(for work)
"The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace: Empowering Organizations by Encouraging People" by Gary Chapman and Paul White
"The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change" by Stephen R. Covey
"The Cooperative Way: The Secret of Working Together for Success" by John C. Crosby
"Collaboration: How Leaders Avoid the Traps, Build Common Ground, and Reap Big Results" by Morten T. Hansen
"The Emotional Intelligence Workbook: 50 Techniques to Enhance Your EQ" by Steven J. Stein
"The Compassionate Leader: How to Build Trust, Empathy, and Resilience in Your Team" by Maura Thomas
"The Culture Code: The Secrets of Highly Successful Groups" by Daniel Coyle
"Influencer: The Power to Change Anything" by Kerry Patterson
"The Everything Communication Book: Winning Strategies to Help You Communicate More Effectively in the Workplace" by Patrice Yeoman
"The Art of Possibility: Transforming Professional and Personal Life" by Rosamund Stone Zander and Benjamin Zander
"The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom" by Don Miguel Ruiz
"The Art of Happiness" by Dalai Lama
"The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion: Freeing Yourself from Destructive Thoughts and Emotions" by Christopher K. Germer
"The Compassionate Leader: How to Build Trust, Empathy, and Resilience in Your Team" by Maura Thomas
"The Self-Compassion Workbook: A Proven Way to Accept Yourself, Build Inner Strength, and Thrive" by Kristin Neff and Christopher Germer
"The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment" by Eckhart Tolle
"Radical Acceptance: Embracing Your Life with the Heart of a Buddha" by Tara Brach
"The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living" by Russ Harris
Obsession
What are you obsessed with? Your looks? Your house being clean? Being thin? Looking smart? The issue with obsession is that your thoughts are on what you should be doing, and not what is. Now, there is a difference between OCD and what we're referring to here. OCD is a mental illness, one that should be helped by a professional. What we're talking about here is being obsessed with outwardly things, to the point of sacrificing your morals, your ideals, and mostly, yourself. Losing yourself over making sure you look good to others is not part of the path to peace. Here are some great books on both OCD and overcoming being self-obsessed:
Booklist:
(for OCD)
"Compulsive Acts: An Anthology of Obsessive Behavior" edited by Jennifer Hunter
"Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder Demystified: An Essential Guide for Understanding and Living with OCD" by Cheryl Carmin
"The OCD Workbook: Your Guide to Breaking Free from Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder" by Bruce M. Hyman and Cherlene Pedrick
"The Mindfulness Workbook for OCD: A Guide to Overcoming Obsessions and Compulsions Using Mindfulness and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy" by Jon Hershfield and Tom Corboy
"Overcoming Obsessive Love: When It Hurts Too Much to Let Go" by Steven Stern
"The Imp of the Mind: Exploring the Silent Epidemic of Obsessive Bad Thoughts" by Lee Baer
"Intrusive Thoughts in Clinical Disorders: Theory, Research, and Treatment" edited by David A. Clark and Christine Purdon
"The Compulsion to Repeat the Trauma: Re-enactment, Revictimization, and Masochism" by Christine K. Kroner
"The Heart of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder: A Balanced Approach to Resolving OCD's Rituals and Obsessions" by Michael A. Jenike and Brian L. Stanton
"Brain Lock: Free Yourself from Obsessive-Compulsive Behavior" by Jeffrey M. Schwartz
(for regular obsession)
"The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life" by Mark Manson
"The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom" by Don Miguel Ruiz
"The Compassionate Mind: A New Approach to Life's Challenges" by Paul Gilbert
"The Self-Compassion Workbook: A Proven Method to Accept Yourself, Build Inner Strength, and Thrive" by Kristin Neff
"The Mindful Way through Self-Compassion: Finding Peace and Resilience in Times of Struggle" by Chris Germer, Kristin Neff, and Sarah Bowen
"The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment" by Eckhart Tolle
"The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself" by Michael A. Singer
"The Courage to be Disliked: The Japanese Phenomenon That Shows You How to Change Your Life and Achieve Real Happiness" by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga
Irritation/Frustration
I have ASD, so getting frustrated can be super easy for me. I know when I am getting overwhelmed that the only thing that really helps is to remove myself from the situation and relax for a moment. It's not always easy to do, or even doable at all at times, but I will try as much as I can to leave the room and lock the door behind me and just breathe. One thing that really helps is remember something from the book "Good Citizens" by Thich Nhat Hanh: breathe in, recognize the negative feeling, breathe out, let it go. This helped me so much back when I was at my peak of anxiety back in 2018. I hadn't driven in years and using that helped keep me calm until I was able to drive everywhere again. But it also works for anger, irritation, and frustration. And you can even do it silently, which is great, because everyone around me are usually being too noisy, which is what leads to my frustration.
The act of breathing and focusing my breath is one that keeps me from saying stupid things when I am irritated. So I breathe, and then express myself, even if I don't want to. I tell someone "Can you stop (insert action here) please? I am feeling overwhelmed right now." If they don't, I will remove myself. Irritation and frustration are normal in life. You'll never be rid of those feelings, as long as you're a human. But the trick is in walking the Mindful Path, isn't removing obstacles completely, but rather just working with them as best you can. Here are some great books on relaxation, which is one key in managing your irritation:
Booklist:
"Good Citizens" by Thich Nhat Hanh
"The Relaxation and Stress Reduction Workbook" by Martha Davis, Elizabeth Robbins Eshelman, and Matthew McKay
"The Art of Relaxation" by Lee Albert
"The Relaxation Response" by Herbert Benson
"The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment" by Eckhart Tolle
"Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindfulness Meditation in Everyday Life" by Jon Kabat-Zinn
"The Mindful Way through Stress: The Proven 8-Week Path to Health, Happiness, and Well-Being" by Susan M. Pollak, Christopher K. Germer, and Saki F. Santorelli
"Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain, and Illness" by Jon Kabat-Zinn
"The Tao of Relaxation: Timeless Wisdom for a Busy World" by Andrew Weil
"The Relaxation Revolution: The Science and Genetics of Mind Body Healing" by Herbert Benson and William Proctor
"The Little Book of Mindfulness: 10 Minutes a Day to Less Stress, More Peace" by Patrizia Collard
Violence
So many people use violence every single day in many ways: through their actions, their speech, and their thoughts. We can not only be physically violent, but verbally violent, and emotionally violent, whether to others or even ourselves. And many of us don't even mean to (though some do). Accusations, negative thoughts, anger, being reactionary, and acting from a place of fear can all be a part of violence, too. And most of these actions are habitual (which can be overcome), and even passed down through generations. Here are some books how to be less violent in our lives:
Booklist:
"The Power of Nonviolence: Writings by Advocates of Peace" edited by Howard Zinn
"The Peace Book" by Todd Parr
"The Nonviolent Life" by John Dear
"The Power of Nonviolence: Writings by Advocates of Peace" edited by Howard Zinn
"Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships" by Marshall B. Rosenberg, PhD
"Communicate Your Feelings (without starting a fight): What to Say and What Not to Say to Your Partner" by Nic Saluppo
Attachment
Being attached to an idea, stuff, an outcome of a situation, a person and/or their actions, or anything else will just bring you suffering. The idea that "all life is suffering" is a part of Buddhist wisdom, but one of the ways we suffer is through being attached things or ideas. You can lose stuff. You can find out an idea you believed in is not true. The outcome of a situation may not be in your favor. People in your life may come and go. Being attached to these things and then losing them or having them change only hurts you. So, the trick is to not become attached to the outcome. Accept that life equals change, and that ideas and ideals will always change as well (or rather, should). See yourself as a flexible as water: you go where the path leads you. Here are some great books on this idea:
Booklist:
"The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle
"The Untethered Soul" by Michael A. Singer
"The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying" by Sogyal Rinpoche
"The Art of Living" by Thich Nhat Hanh
"The Wisdom of No Escape" by Pema Chödrön
"The Way of Zen" by Alan W. Watts
"The Book of Joy" by Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu
"The Tibetan Art of Living" by Christopher Hansard
"The Joy of Living: Unlocking the Secret and Science of Happiness" by Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche
"The Four Noble Truths" by the Dalai Lama
Projection
Projection is when you take something you're feeling or acting like and projecting it on others. There is a popular saying that goes "Whatever you hate in others is what you hate or fear in yourself." Say you hate fat people. You most likely fear getting fat because someone has fat shamed you in the past. As a teen, I was fat shamed, even though I was a size 7 and 125lbs (I am 5'7"). I never hated fat people, but my fear of being fat turned into an eating disorder. I was obsessed with being skinny (another obstacle to peace). But, my fear of having my eating disorder led me to shaming other girls my age who were skinnier than I was, and I said they were anorexic. I was covering my own anorexia by making everyone else believe these other girls were anorexic. Not only that, but by shaming them, I looked like someone who would never be anorexic myself, because I must obviously hate anorexic people. As it turns out, some of those girls came to me in our late 30's and talked about what a bully I was for picking on them for that, even though they weren't anorexic. I was so self-involved that I didn't even think I was hurting them. I was just trying to cover up my own bullshit. How awful is that?
So, the next time someone picks on you, know that it has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with them projecting their own bullshit onto you. It's 100% about them. And know that this applies to you, too. When you hate someone else for something they do, or someone else annoys you, etc. know that it's you hating on whatever that person is representing inside of you. Here are some books on this:
Booklist:
"The Voice of Knowledge" by Don Miguel Ruiz (this is hands down the best book on this subject)
"The Body Is Not an Apology: The Power of Radical Self-Love" by Sonya Renee Taylor
"The Self-Acceptance Project: How to Be Kind and Compassionate Toward Yourself in Any Situation" by Madhuri Grewal
"Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself" by Kristin Neff
Codependency
When you love someone more than you love yourself, that's normal. But when you care about someone more than you respect yourself, that's codependency. It's an imbalanced relationship pattern. But it's also selfish. You may think you're giving everything to this other person, to the point of being a doormat or even to the point that you are invisible and disappear, you may think that means that you're loyal. Or that you deserve their love if you just follow everything they say and/or do. You never stop think for yourself and say "Wait, is what this person saying right? Is what they are asking me to do right?" Just being blind to the way someone behaves does not make you better than others, nor does it make you worthy of that person's love. You just being you makes you worthy. And if that person won't love you if you act like yourself, then you need to walk away and find someone new.
And know, when I say "love", it could mean friendship, romantic love, or even familial love. Or, it could mean the relationship between a boss and an employee. Codependency, as well as narcissism (which go hand in hand), is a HUGE epidemic all over the world (pandemic?). It's everywhere, and it's been here since the dawn of man. The more powerful (aka, controlling) people control the people they see as weaker (and when I say this, know this doesn't mean they are actually weak, in fact, they are pretty awesome and nice), and it makes this horrible dysfunctional relationship cycle that is passed down from generation to generation. And it's up to you to break it the cycle. I broke my cycle with my mother and the rest of my dysfunctional family, and you can too. The trick is to recognize who you're blindly following without question. And start from there.
Booklist:
"Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself" by Melody Beattie
"The Healing Power of Empathy: A Practical Guide for Adding Depth and Breadth to Your Life" by Beverly Engel
"The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations on Codependency" by Melody Beattie
"Facing Codependence: What It Is, Where It Comes from, How It Sabotages Our Lives" by Pia Mellody
"The New Codependency: Help and Guidance for Today's Generation" by Melody Beattie
"Beyond Codependency: And Getting Better All the Time" by Melody Beattie
"Breaking Free from the Co-Dependency Trap" by Barry K. Weinhold and Janae B. Weinhold
"The Tao of Inner Peace" by Diane Dreher
"The 48 Laws of Power" by Robert Greene (this teaches you how to recognize narcissistic behavior so you can see who you are being codependent with)
Sidenote: If you may notice, that in Buddhism, they always include "desire" as a fetter or an obstacle. That's because in Buddhism, desire is seen as a "future" state, rather than a "present" one. But without desire, we not move forward in life. There is is a wrong way to desire things. That would include greed, envy, or using Oblivious Consumption. But there also is a right way to desire things, which is Mindful Desire or healthy desire (such as desiring to be on this journey together), which is why we've included it in the Mindful Path. Not all desire is wrong, just as not all consumption is wrong, or anything else on the path.
Another sidenote: Also know that many of the booklists are repeats, and that's because many of these obstacles are dealing with the same core negative beliefs of oneself, which are unworthiness and shame.
The way you overcome these obstacles is something Master Yi (a Buddhist Shaolin Master) calls RAIN:
Recognize the obstacle.
Accept the situation as it is (rather than let the obstacle stop you).
Investigate your emotional state (to see what the underlying emotion is causing the obstacle).
Non-Identify with it (meaning to see it as something you're witnessing or observing, as you are not your body, mind, or emotions themselves).
You can watch his TedX Talk on RAIN here:
This is a fun little game where you make a To-Do List. Think every little and big thing you need to get done with, ala "capture list" via GTD (click here for instructions) if you want get real deep into it (I looove to make mind maps for this! Here is a complete list of things to include. But rather than going through and moving everything into their prospective places like in the GTD method, instead set a timer for 15 minutes and see what you can get done in that amount of time. I've created a check box worksheet for you to use to have fun with it! So, start with capturing all the incomplete items that hold your attention and then grab your timer and go! Maybe give yourself a prize if you complete one entire box during your timeframe? Or however you want to work it! Just have fun with it!
Are you tired of the overspending, the over-stressing, the over-indulgence of the holiday season? If so, then come and join me for a much more peaceful Christmas holiday season that when you try it for the first time, you may decide to never go back to the old way ever again.
Growing up, the holiday season was a tornado of chaos. I enjoyed it, because I was home from school and all the adults were running around like chickens with their heads cut off and I just watched from the sidelines, content in their busyness, and because they were busy, they weren't bothering me. I was like that as a kid. I loved when there was a bustle around me, and I was just an invisible little kid, doing whatever she liked. I could eat in the living room or my bedroom, because nobody noticed. I could watch TV all hours of the day and night, because nobody noticed. I could play outside with my dog for hours in the snow or have sleepovers every night of the week with my friend, and nobody cared. I loved it.
But instead of spending time with me, my parents were busy, busy, busy! Shopping, and preparing, and cooking, and decorating, and everything else that comes along with having twenty or more people in your house for a huge dinner. So, my question for you is, is that's what's going on in your house, too? Are you too busy with Christmas parties and shopping and stressing out over money and cooking and everything else to just be with your kids or yourself during the month of December? And come January, are you paying off credit cards and trying to play catch up with your bills? And is your kids room overrun with toys they probably won't be playing with in a few months?
If so, then you sound like you need a peaceful holiday season instead.
Your kids can still have fun with their friends and do the fun stuff they like without you having to be a ball of stress at the same time. And if you don't have kids, then you can just enjoy the season without being a ball of stress.
Here are the sections of the season we are going to tackle as part of the "Peaceful Christmas" procedure. We're going to use the word PEACE as an acronym, which stands for:
Presents
Eating (and cooking)
Adorning
Cleaning
Extracurricular Activities
Presents
Gifting does not need to be expensive, or time-consuming. If you've always made a huge deal out of the gift-opening ceremony on Christmas day (or whatever else you celebrate on whatever day you celebrate it on), the maybe this year make it be about other traditions instead. Don't have any? Then create some! Watch some favorite holiday movies or sing holiday songs together or listen to a story on audio. Go outside and do something exciting if you can, like play a sport or go for a hike! Put on a play! Have a silly hat fashion show! Play a communal video game together! Play a board game! Make up your own games! Or find some online! Make the day's festivities be about being together (or, if you're alone, make it be about something awesome you do every single year), rather than just about opening gifts. And make sure it's something that the entire family loves doing, not just you.
Then, when it comes to the gift-giving part of the day, it can take a backseat to the rest of it.
Here are some easy, and peaceful, less wasteful things to give as gifts:
Gift cards to their favorite stores
If you're a maker, then make your signature item for everyone (like something they can use or look at every day--though don't stress yourself out about making them, just start in January, so everything is leisurely done by December)
Money
Something meaningful, yet easy (like, ordering something personalized from Etsy, like a cup or a sign)
Movie Bucks for the movie theater
Consumable items, such as gourmet snacks that everyone can eat together while watching a holiday flick
Matching PJs (or anything matching)
A candle (like from Getaway Candle Co. or Yankee or Frostbeard Studio or one from Craft + Foster)
A treasure box (collect books--or whatever they like--throughout the year that your loved ones will love and put them all together in a big box, filled with books and favorite snacks)
Are you artsy? Draw something or paint something, and then have prints made to give framed as gifts. Try your hand at doing a family portrait or maybe their pet?
Knit, crochet, or sew something they'd love. Make it more meaningful by using fabric or colors they'd love or appreciate. Maybe they love Harry Potter? If so, knit them an HP scarf!
Create or buy something based on their favorite movie.
A trip. Purchase or plan an experience for your family instead of giving material items. It's something you all will remember forever.
Subscriptions and classes. Pay for someone's Netflix or Kobo subscription or give them an online or real-life class to take. Or get them a subscription box to their favorite brands!
Art supplies. I once bought an art bag filled with watercolor paper, a sketchbook, watercolors, alcohol markers, colored pencils, drawing pencils, and a ton of other stuff for both my kids. They loved it! And they were older teenagers/adults.
Eating (and cooking)
Oh the food! We stopped doing the big, gigantic meals for Christmas years ago. Instead, we started the tradition of doing lasagna. And now I don't even do that! Well, I do make it, but not with noodles. That's way too time consuming. And the holidays are supposed to be about being peaceful, right? So make life easier and take shortcuts. But this is a yummy shortcut! I use cheese tortellini (though the other day I made it with the dried shelf-stable tortellini and ravioli from Aldi and it was amazing!) instead of lasagna noodles. And I just put in a container of cottage cheese, a little bit of mozzarella mixed in, a bottle of sauce, and the tortellini. I also add in a package of frozen peppers and onions that I saute while the tortellini is boiling. Then I mix it all together, top it with mozzarella, bake at 350 for around 20-30 min and bam! Lasagna that's so easy and tastes so much better than the original. You should find a meal that your family loves and make it every year, and ditch all the traditional food that's such a pain to make. We make traditional food on Thanksgiving, which is fine, because we also don't have gifts and everything else to do, too. So make Christmas easy and fun by doing something only your family does. Here are some ideas:
Fire up the grill and have a cookout! Hamburgers and hotdogs for everyone! Make it easy and simple. But also make it special. Like, make a special Christmas Burger, or have red and green toppings for the hotdogs!
Make a taco bar! Who doesn't love tacos? Don't forget these taco shapers so you have deliciously deep-fried corn tortillas! (Yes, a taco bar is a lot of work, but if your whole family helps, it can be a fun activity).
Is your family Italian? Yes? No? Who cares! Everyone loves Italian food! Don't forget the garlic bread! Also, you can order vats of this stuff from your local Italian restaurant the day before (or a couple days before) and just bake it the day of Christmas. No cooking!!
Have something completely non-traditional, like corned beef and cabbage! Yum!! Don't forget to boil the carrot and potatoes in the same pot for extra flavor!
It doesn't matter if you're making a dinner for 1, 4, or 24, you can take any of these ideas and upscale them in an easy and quick way. Just pick the easiest meal you can, one that is special to you and your family, and do that. The food you make isn't as important as how the day goes. And the easier it goes, the better the holiday will be.
Another thing we do a little of is Christmas cookies (though made before Christmas). But instead of a 1,000 types that my mother used to make, I only make around 3-4. We make these chocolate Italian cookies topped with frosting, almond bars, and pumpkin bars. But we don't usually make them all at once, which also helps us not feel rushed (or overeat cookies). Here are some recipes below:
There is nothing like a beautifully decorated house for the holidays. But at what cost? Instead of putting everything up (and then eventually taking everything down), downgrade your decor to just the essentials. Or, only put up the items you truly cherish and leave all the rest (just because something is tradition, doesn't mean you love it). Also, consider getting a smaller tree. I got this one from Michaels last year, which is a huge space saver, and so easy to store (and put up). Remember, the holiday season is about feeling peaceful and enjoying your family, not about having the perfect house. If you want a more peaceful, relaxing Christmas, then consider only putting up the items that make you feel special and happy. This goes for ornaments on the tree, too.
Cleaning
If you're having family over for the holidays and you need to do a deep clean, consider taking this time to also purge all the items you no longer need. That way, after the holidays are over, it will stay cleaner than it was before. But instead of busting your hump cleaning until you're stressed out, try a more relaxed and peaceful pace to get it all done. Here is a step-by-step plan:
Grab a pen and a notebook and some highlighters.
Go around your house and take note of everything you need to organize, clean, or put away.
After you're done, dedicate a color to each type of task or to each room or even to how important it is to get that particular task done. Whatever works for you. Then highlight each item in the appropriate color.
Then delegate these tasks to your household members. If you live alone, then ask some friends to come help out.
Organizing your tasks helps you to break them down into bite-sized bits so they are easier to accomplish. Also, it helps you not to feel overwhelmed by it all. Organizing them by color also helps you to see them more clearly and is just more fun than a plain black-and-white page.
This is how I handle any big task that is in my house and it works! I have ADHD so I get overwhelmed very easily. But this style helps me to stay focused and helps me to actually finish the task at hand.
Extracurricular Activities (aka FUN!)
Make it easy, make it fun! Planning fun activities does not need to add to your stress levels. I created a fun little 57 page activity book to help you get started, which you can download below. It contains stuff to keep the kids busy, as well as family activities such as writing holiday stories, decorating ornaments, trees, and holiday sweaters, and so much more! Just print and go!
immerse yourself in the season (not the holiday season, I mean winter, learn how to appreciate winter)
I hope these will help you this holiday season to find more peace and less stress. And remember: nothing has to be perfect, no matter what other people say. Happy Holidays!!
We cannot control how people treat us or how other people act or what they do. We can only be responsible for our own energy. Which means, how we react to those things in the world, and the energy we give off to others. When we are calm, and full of peace and serenity, we can act proper, speak more mindfully, and diffuse the negativity of others. We also create a wonderful place inside of us that I call our "true home". We know it when we feel it. It's unlike anything else. It's like, all of a sudden, all the the crap that's raging around us doesn't matter anymore. Instead, we've come home to ourselves, a place where we can visit at any time, in any place, and in any circumstance. Even when the world around us rages.
Recently, I developed a website called "Unstoppable Morons". It's based on a quote that Ross from Friends said on the episode "The One With the Shark" that my husband and I quote quite often. The term means that some people just can't help themselves from sticking their foots in their own mouths, or that they can't stop themselves from having verbal diarrhea on a moronic level. And recently, I've dealt with quite of a few of these types of people, both online and off. And how I've dealt with it hasn't been very peaceful. Instead of remembering my Buddhist learnings, I've been indulging in picking on them and being angry that world is full of so much stupid.
But then I remember, how in my own life, I used to be like some of these people. That my own stupidity probably made others angry, too. And then I also remember that I changed. I became wiser and learned to do better. And maybe these people can, too. Or maybe they can't. But neither way is a reason to hate them. I forgot sometimes about compassion and how I am capable of so much of it. So, why am I not sharing it with these people?
I am not saying I should have bowed down to the rude woman who was obviously so narcissistic that it bordered on mental illness when my car door touched her door (with no scratch or dent). But I could have not held onto my anger for so long about it. I sometimes forget that narcissistic people do not make any sense and to not let the fact that they don't make any sense get me confused and riled up in anger (when things confuse me, I sometimes panic, and then get annoyed). I need to remember that narcissists are like this and to let it go, because it's like dealing with with an insane person. Would I get angry at an insane person for yelling at me for no reason? I might be jarred for a moment, or even a little scared, but angry? I don't think so. So why be angry at the narcissists? They're also insane. And that's because they operate on a different level of reality than normal people. Having this understanding allows me to disconnect from the idea that this person yelled at me, and instead allows me to see that this person is seeing me an object to further their narcissistic reality, not as a direct attack on me, personally. And that's where the compassion comes in. Not towards her, but towards me. I don't need to engage in her, or anyone who acts like her, strange delusions because that puts me into a state of anger, rage, sadness, irritation, annoyance, etc. And they are not worth doing that to myself.
So, I am not going to delete my blog, but rather rename it, and dedicate it to my political stance instead (as I have written quite of bit of interesting things on it). But in a more...compassionate way. My form of Buddhism is true the idea of "the middle way", so being true to that, my political views are geared more a more centrist stance than fully liberal or conservative. I think that would be a better use of my time than ripping on other human beings. I am not responsible for that woman who yelled at me, or the YouTubers who have changed their political platforms that I don't agree with, nor with our current president or last president. But I am responsible for my own energy when dealing with those things. And rather than putting out more angry ranting into the world, why not instead try to spread more compassionate politics and ideas instead? I think that's a way better use for my time.
There is a sense of peace that comes over me when I realize these things. A mindful state that feels like home. The anger doesn't feel like home. The hostility and hours spent researching things to bitch about online doesn't feel like home. It feels like an utter waste of my time. I've spent so much of my life as a younger person being angry. I do not want to spend the rest of my life feeling that way, too. I'd rather let the world rage around me while I sit in peace and hear the crickets chirp on the breeze, as I am right in this very moment. Join me. It feels good to be home again.
Though, please do not read this and think of that quote by Mother Theresa that states "I will never attend an anti-war rally. But if you have a rally for peace, invite me". Because Mother Theresa was a sadist who loved to make people suffer, in which she enjoyed watching as the person died right in front of her. She was delighted to not only be a part of their suffering, but also the cause, as she withheld medicines and treatment in her little "hospitals". I agree with the sentiment fully, about the peace rally vs. an anti-war rally. But nothing with harsh my mindful mellow faster than someone quoting that monster to me. There is a line, when it comes to compassion and understanding. I draw that line at people who enjoy hurting other people. Just an FYI.
I've always had a garden of my own, even when I just grew potted cherry tomatoes on my small porch in our apartment back when my kids were small (and the apartment complex's kids all stole them). As we moved to bigger places, my garden grew with the size of the yard. When we moved into the house where we live now, my garden was super tiny, even though we had the room to make it huge. But it was during the beginning of the lockdown, and I was too scared to think about buying seeds or plants. But last year, I bought a plastic green house and my tomatoes overfloweth. This year, we are doubling the size of our garden, and we expanded the types of food we're growing, as well as designing a whole new way for us to garden.
Each year, I learn from the mistakes from the previous year and use what I learn to make each garden better. Last year, I put both my kale and my Brussel sprouts in my greenhouse. Oops. I had no idea that cruciferous vegetables were cold lovers. No wonder my kale was spindly and my Brussels never came to fruition. They were too hot! So this year, I will direct sow them in the middle of July, so that way they will be ready in the fall, when they will actually grow properly. We live in zone 5, so we get hot summers and harsh winters, which only gives us a growing season of 3-4 months (although I start my seeds indoors in March or April).
So what I'm doing different this year, compared to previous years, are few things:
I created a garden journal. I designed one on Canva to have printed on Amazon, but for my personal one, I'm going to hand write it all in. I numbered my seeds and put the matching number on the seedlings so I know which plant is what. And I will record information about each seed and plant in my journal so that way next year's garden will be even better with the information I record from this year. I'll show you some pics below.
I'm strictly doing container gardening. We have a horrible burdock problem in our yard, so we'll be covering up the entire ground in the garden with cardboard to kill it, and cover that in mulch. Then we'll be using Rubbermaid bins with holes drilled in the bottom, filled with rocks, then sticks, then compost, and then dirt (and topped with mulch).
I'm creating trellises to grow my luffas on, as well as my squash. I'm taking metal fence pieces and bending them overhead and attaching them to posts for all of my climbing plants.
Eventually, we will be living on a bigger piece of land and expanding our garden to something more farmette sized. Although, I want to make money off of my garden, that's not the main reason I grow food. I grow food to live more sustainably and to save money on produce. But some may ask, is it worth it?
Because I will say the amount of time you put into a garden may not pay off if you do not choose crops that produce a lot food. In the summertime, most produce goes so far down in price that it could end up costing you more in time, water, mulch, etc. than it would be just to buy the food at the store. And so that's why you need large producing plants, and lots of them. And if you overproduce, to the point it's too much for you, you can choose to freeze it, can it, or sells it. You can also makes things like tomato sauce or hot sauce or other items with your produce to either can, freeze, or sell.
Though I prefer to grow too many plants to sell, rather than selling an over production of produce. It's so much less work, and I am all about doing the least about of work that produces the most amount of yield. And while you may be able to make more money selling the produce itself, in order to actually be sustainable, you need that overproduction of produce to last you longer than a single season. And right now, my garden is only sized for my family, so my overproduction is only for us (and maybe a little for the neighbors). So for me, the most amount of yield is to have the most amount of actual plants, so I can keep several and sell the rest. And, I make sure I buy overproducers, so that I can get the most bang for my buck when my plant produces fruit, as well as being able to sell my plants at better price, as the customer will be happy to get an overproducing plant.
Which is why I have my garden journal. I need to remember which plant has what properties and the journal keeps all that information in a single place.
What an easy way to make some extra money, to grow plants, even if we only intend on selling the plants themselves, rather than the fruit they produce. And the Dollar Tree sells seeds for 25 cents, so you could get started for sooooo cheap. So anyone could save some used mushroom containers (the little plastic trays mushrooms come in) or something of the sort, get some potting mix from the dollar store, and plant their seeds (and keep them wet). And once they grow bigger, you can separate them into bigger containers to get them ready to sell. I get my bigger containers on Amazon (I buy these-though there are smaller and cheaper ones you can find on there, too). And you can sell the plants on Facebook Marketplace, or even on Craigslist, or have a plant sale like a garage sale.
Plus, you'd be able to grow your own food. And if you're poor? You really need to be growing your own food. And food stamps cover seeds in most, if not all, states. I should know, we didn't get off food stamps until 2021, after being on them for my entire adult life. And even though I always had a garden, I never really took gardening seriously until last year, when I realized I could do so much more than I had in the past.
And it's not even that hard to do. Not even the stuff that sounds hard, like composting. Here is an easy step-by-step plan to get you started with growing you own food:
Get your containers or prepare your space. I am using Rubbermaid bins I found at a resale shop this year. I drilled holes in the bottom and filled them with rocks, then sticks, then compost, then dirt and will top them with mulch after the plants are planted. Here is the video on how I learned how to do this. If you're going to prepare your planting space on the ground, don't till it. Instead, cover it with cardboard (save those Amazon boxes!), and then top with straw (if you can afford it), and then mulch (you can get it free through your city or even through a tree cutting company). Here is a video on how to do that.
Figure out what seeds you want to grow. You can go to the Dollar Tree and pick up seeds for 25 cents, or go where I went this year, which is RareSeeds.com.
Get your seed starting containers, if it's early in the year (red cups work well!). Start them indoors, 6-8 weeks before the last frost. Here is a great video on growing seedlings.
Get your bigger plant pots so they grow into hardy plants before planting them outdoors. Again, red cups work well for this.
Plant them outdoors either in the containers or in your garden space. Remember, tomatoes love calcium, so make sure you're not using old used dirt, otherwise all the nutrients will be gone (which is what compost helps with).
Create a compost bin for next year. Get yourself a big 'ol garbage can with a lid and two bungee cords that can be hooked into the little holes in the handles across the top of the lid. Like this. Keep all your weekly newspaper ads that come in the mail (or if you get the paper, keep those) and shred them. Don't use the glossy ads though. Just the papery ones. I keep my shreds in a garbage bag. When you compost, you do equal parts green and brown. Green=food scraps, lawn waste. Brown=dead leaves, sticks, shredded paper or cardboard, etc. So when you put food in it, throw some paper or dead leaves in. Sticks should be really broken really small. Use the bungee cords to criss-cross across the top and secure in the handle holes. Give it a good roll around the yard once a week or more. Gotta aerate it! This will be mixed into your dirt for next year's garden. Even if you don't use it in a garden (you can give it away when it's ready, or throw it in a dirt area), it's a great way to get rid of food scraps (though no meat or fat, or citrus--check out this list here on what's acceptable food to compost). And if you find a worm in your yard? Throw it into your compost!
Here is a great video on watering (though not just for watering, but it includes that and this video is for tomato plants, but you can do some research on other plants, too). You can always water small amounts every single day if you like, after the sun goes down. But if you want the best bang for your buck, watch that video, and other great videos on the subject on YouTube.
Make a plan of what to do with your overages of produce. Will you freeze it? Can it? Give it away? Sell it?
Be patient, because once they start producing, they won't stop. Check your garden every day so you don't miss anything.
Consider creating a community garden in your front yard. Less mowing, and you get to get to know your neighbors. Also, consider buying fruit trees to either share fruit with neighbors or family or to freeze or can yourself. Fruit trees (or nut trees), especially the dwarf varieties, are very low maintenance.
Save your seeds! Dry them, then label them. This is very important, otherwise, you'll have to buy new seeds next year. You can even sell your seeds if you like.
Enjoy your own home grown food!
If you live in the middle to upper states, consider investing in a greenhouse to help protect against sudden frosts.
Growing food to eat only one season out of the year isn't all that sustainable, as you can get cheap produce in the summer and fall easily at the grocery store. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't do it. Start small, and let your garden grow with the knowledge you accumulate as you go (and as your yard gets bigger). Or, consider indoor hydroponics if you don't have the outdoor space. But if you grow food so that you have an overabundance each year that lasts well into winter? Then you're living a more sustainable life. This is the type of gardening that will help you and your family in times of inflation on groceries (as we're seeing right now in 2022), as well as if we ever have a lockdown again. Or, even if none of those things happen, you won't have to pay for food at the grocery store as much. Saving money is always a good thing.
This year, we're adding egg-laying hens to our sustainable homestead, so eventually, we won't have to pay for eggs, which are also going up in price. Is having your own eggs worth the price of the chickens, as well as the feed and everything else? I really don't know yet. I hope so. But we'll see. But remember, there is no such thing as failure. Everything in life is an experiment to see what works and what doesn't. Your garden is, too. So don't get discouraged if things don't work the first or the seventh time around. You learn from what didn't work and try again in a different way. Just keep on experimenting to find what works for you.
I am a woman with ADHD and anxiety who is searching for peace through a more minimalistic lifestyle. I explore minimalism, Buddhism, mindfulness, and living a more sustainable life.
