The forest is my church. Music is also my church. The earth is my spiritual home. The universe is my creator. All humans are made of the same stuff stars are made of, but then again, all things are. There is a language to the universe and that's math, whether I understand that math or not (and I don't, but I sort of do). The universe is as infinitely small as it is infinitely large. When you zoom out far enough, galaxies and stars look like cellular tissue. When you zoom in far enough, we are mostly made of empty space (but then again, we all know there is no such thing as actual empty space). These are the things that I think about and ponder when I am in deep, mindful thought. Among so many other things because I have ADHD, my mind will go off on tangents. And then I have to always bring myself back to my breath. My monkey mind is kind of spastic, but mindfulness always succeeds in bringing me back home.
On meditation...
Meditation brings me closer to my true self, the part of me that feels total connection to everything and everyone around me, and beyond. Movement, like dance, can also bring me into that space, as well, and is great for our bodies. Watching mindful programming like YouTube videos or "Walk With Me" (the Plum Village movie) also brings me into that space, which is why Sanghas are good (mindful communities of people being mindful together) because being around others who are in the same space as you also keeps you in that same space for longer. Community is important, but not wholly needed to be spiritual. But if you have access to a like-minded community, it can bring you closer to your true self than being alone. Though being along also has its perks.
On forgiving and acceptance...
Understanding the "why" of things helps us to appreciate and accept the way the world is. Some things in life are confusing, and sometimes we'll never know why those things are the way they are, but just the fact that we realize there is most likely a reason can allow us to let it go. Sometimes that reason is that things just happen. But knowing that ahead of time can be beneficial to healing later. All humans have a motivation for their actions. Sometimes those motivations seem crazy, and some can be if that person is severely mentally ill, but most motivations stem from the issues, experiences, thought processes, and understandings of the other person, and it has nothing to do with us at all. So, we do not need to take anything personally. If we've made a mistake, it's up to us to make amends, but sometimes other people want too much from us, believing we should be punished forever. That is on them, not us. All we can do is actually be sorry and take steps to honestly change and be better people than we were before. If they can't forgive us, then we need to move forward in our lives anyways as better people than we were before we made the mistake. And we need to remember that other people are fallible, too, and a single mistake, does not make anyone a bad person. Unless those mistakes are constantly repeated or are truly horrific, then we need to move on without that person in our lives, because life is too short and too wonderful to be bogged down by people who want to continue to hurt us.
About my path...
Buddhists follow the Eightfold Path in order to keep their mind and their lives on a path of compassion and peace. I created the Fourteen-Step Path (though the number changes as I find more to add to it) for my own spiritual journey to live by. These fourteen steps I am following to the road to inner peace are:
- Right Understanding
- Right Thinking
- Right Speech
- Right Action
- Right Livelihood
- Right Effort
- Right Consumption
- Right Boundaries
- Right Love
- Right Desire
- Right Healing
- Right Community
- Right Sustainability
- Right Attachment
You can read more about what these steps are here. Feel free to use this in your own life, either adding more to it, taking some away, or keeping it the same. But remember, that each person has their own path to walk in life, and those paths are as unique as we are. Trying to live the way others live, for the reasons those people live their lives the way that they do won't necessarily help you on your own journey. You need to do the things you do and live the way you live for reasons all your own. If you don't know what exactly your reasons are, then experiment until you find the right combination that works for you.
On my beliefs...
I am a person who does not believe in anything. I entertain the ideas of things. I allow pondering and thinking and wondering and experimenting with ideas. But I do not "believe". I am not powerful enough of a being to say "this is exactly the way something truly is". Sometimes I do fall into that trap, of "believing". But then I remember, my way is not the only way, and humans are not the human idea of what gods are. There is no one way that is 100% true or real. Unless we're talking about bad things. There are things I do know, for a fact, that are 100% bad and wrong. But when it comes to spiritual things in life, my way is not the only way. And neither is anyone else's.
I call myself a science-minded and spiritually-minded atheist. Once, my mother-in-law said to me "I don't get people who don't believe in anything. That must be so depressing." Back when I first became an atheist, it was kind of depressing. I think there is an initial anger we all have, when we come to atheism later in life. To think everything we once believed in and lived our lives by is just now "poof", gone. We feel duped. And I think we're grieving at this stage. Losing every part of who we once were is hard. Though, I came from a pagan and magical thinking background, rather than a Christian one. And all the parts that made up who I had been since childhood, now felt like a lie. I was happy as a pagan. I felt connected to something greater than myself. And I think that's the part we all don't get. Believing in something isn't about believing in it for everyone. It's for you and you alone. It's your direct connection to the spiritual. That's what it's supposed to be about. And we don't need religion for that. We just need that feeling of connection. But after thousands of years of ideas getting muddled up in the minds and actions of man, it's been twisted and contorted and damaged. Now we make religion being about the control of others. How is that connecting to anything other than power? Spirituality isn't about power. It's about connection. That's it. Humans need that feeling in order to be mentally healthy. Which is why we see so many angry atheists, angry Christians, angry Muslims, etc. out there. They aren't connected. They are power hungry. "My way is the right way!" No. It's not. The only right way is whatever way makes us feel that connection, to everything within us, outside of us, and beyond. That's it. And how that looks individually depends on each person. So, to answer my mother-in-law:
Do you feel that connection? No? Then you're doing it wrong.
You can believe in a creator or not. You can believe in Jesus or Mohammad, or whoever else you want to see as your savior, or not. You can feel at home in a church or in a forest or your living room. You can read a bible or the book of Mormon or a book by Thich Nhat Hanh (Good Citizens is a great one to start with) or a Harry Potter book. You can do anything or nothing at all but touch the dirt with your bare feet when you walk. The only answer to your spirituality is to feel connected to it all. If you don't, then you're doing it wrong. If you do, then you don't have the need to control others or have power or judge other people or yourself or anything else other than feeling that connection. Because once you experience that, there is nothing else you'll want from your spiritual journey. You won't need anything else. That feeling bliss in its purest form and it's the most real we'll ever feel in our entire lives. It's the feeling that we get from perfect moments. But we can make those perfect moments last. Most moments can be perfect, if you let them. Even if they sort of suck.
The trick is to be fully present as much as possible. Don't let your mind water or your thoughts race. Sometimes we can't help it, and that's okay. But that whole saying "be here, now" is not just a saying. It's a way of life. When you are present for conversations, spending time with your pets, doing some monotonous chore, or whatever it is you're doing, then you aren't thinking about the past (ruminating), or the future (worrying). You are present. And you don't have time to judge others or yourself. You don't have time to do anything but be present. When you are connected to the present moment, you are whole. You are your true self. You are home.
If you want to learn more about this path that anyone can follow, despite their religion or lack thereof, then check out my book below (if it's not there yet, it's not available yet, check back later or contact me to see when it'll be out).
