We cannot control how people treat us or how other people act or what they do. We can only be responsible for our own energy. Which means, how we react to those things in the world, and the energy we give off to others. When we are calm, and full of peace and serenity, we can act proper, speak more mindfully, and diffuse the negativity of others. We also create a wonderful place inside of us that I call our "true home". We know it when we feel it. It's unlike anything else. It's like, all of a sudden, all the the crap that's raging around us doesn't matter anymore. Instead, we've come home to ourselves, a place where we can visit at any time, in any place, and in any circumstance. Even when the world around us rages.
Recently, I developed a website called "Unstoppable Morons". It's based on a quote that Ross from Friends said on the episode "The One With the Shark" that my husband and I quote quite often. The term means that some people just can't help themselves from sticking their foots in their own mouths, or that they can't stop themselves from having verbal diarrhea on a moronic level. And recently, I've dealt with quite of a few of these types of people, both online and off. And how I've dealt with it hasn't been very peaceful. Instead of remembering my Buddhist learnings, I've been indulging in picking on them and being angry that world is full of so much stupid.
But then I remember, how in my own life, I used to be like some of these people. That my own stupidity probably made others angry, too. And then I also remember that I changed. I became wiser and learned to do better. And maybe these people can, too. Or maybe they can't. But neither way is a reason to hate them. I forgot sometimes about compassion and how I am capable of so much of it. So, why am I not sharing it with these people?
I am not saying I should have bowed down to the rude woman who was obviously so narcissistic that it bordered on mental illness when my car door touched her door (with no scratch or dent). But I could have not held onto my anger for so long about it. I sometimes forget that narcissistic people do not make any sense and to not let the fact that they don't make any sense get me confused and riled up in anger (when things confuse me, I sometimes panic, and then get annoyed). I need to remember that narcissists are like this and to let it go, because it's like dealing with with an insane person. Would I get angry at an insane person for yelling at me for no reason? I might be jarred for a moment, or even a little scared, but angry? I don't think so. So why be angry at the narcissists? They're also insane. And that's because they operate on a different level of reality than normal people. Having this understanding allows me to disconnect from the idea that this person yelled at me, and instead allows me to see that this person is seeing me an object to further their narcissistic reality, not as a direct attack on me, personally. And that's where the compassion comes in. Not towards her, but towards me. I don't need to engage in her, or anyone who acts like her, strange delusions because that puts me into a state of anger, rage, sadness, irritation, annoyance, etc. And they are not worth doing that to myself.
So, I am not going to delete my blog, but rather rename it, and dedicate it to my political stance instead (as I have written quite of bit of interesting things on it). But in a more...compassionate way. My form of Buddhism is true the idea of "the middle way", so being true to that, my political views are geared more a more centrist stance than fully liberal or conservative. I think that would be a better use of my time than ripping on other human beings. I am not responsible for that woman who yelled at me, or the YouTubers who have changed their political platforms that I don't agree with, nor with our current president or last president. But I am responsible for my own energy when dealing with those things. And rather than putting out more angry ranting into the world, why not instead try to spread more compassionate politics and ideas instead? I think that's a way better use for my time.
There is a sense of peace that comes over me when I realize these things. A mindful state that feels like home. The anger doesn't feel like home. The hostility and hours spent researching things to bitch about online doesn't feel like home. It feels like an utter waste of my time. I've spent so much of my life as a younger person being angry. I do not want to spend the rest of my life feeling that way, too. I'd rather let the world rage around me while I sit in peace and hear the crickets chirp on the breeze, as I am right in this very moment. Join me. It feels good to be home again.
Though, please do not read this and think of that quote by Mother Theresa that states "I will never attend an anti-war rally. But if you have a rally for peace, invite me". Because Mother Theresa was a sadist who loved to make people suffer, in which she enjoyed watching as the person died right in front of her. She was delighted to not only be a part of their suffering, but also the cause, as she withheld medicines and treatment in her little "hospitals". I agree with the sentiment fully, about the peace rally vs. an anti-war rally. But nothing with harsh my mindful mellow faster than someone quoting that monster to me. There is a line, when it comes to compassion and understanding. I draw that line at people who enjoy hurting other people. Just an FYI.
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